We can't get justice, even when we're killed in our sleep.

Last Wednesday, a grand jury met and indicted former Louisville officer Brett Hankison for three counts of “wanton endangerment”– a felony considered less severe than murder– for his involvement in Breonna Taylor’s death.

The decision sent a resounding message to Black women: if we are killed in our sleep by police, we will be tokenized, belittled, dehumanized and used for social capital, but we will not receive justice.

To understand why we are outraged, it’s important to understand what exactly the charges against the officers were. Hankison was one of three cops present at the time of Taylor’s murder, but was the only one who faced indictment or termination from the Louisville Police Department for demonstrating “an extreme indifference of human life.” His partners–Jonathan Mattingly and Myles Cosgrove–faced no charges at all for the shooting, nor did they lose their jobs for their reckless, unethical behavior (they remain on administrative leave).

“Wanton endangerment” is a Class D felony, while murder is classified as a Class A felony. A person is considered guilty of wanton endangerment, “when, under circumstances manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life, he wantonly engages in conduct which creates a substantial danger of death or serious physical injury to another person.”

Although the charge may seem accurate at its surface, it is deeply frustrating for what it does not consider. Kentucky is an open-carry and “Stand Your Ground” state. Taylor’s boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, was fully within his rights to fire at the officers out of self-defense since he believed that he, Taylor, and their property were being burglarized. Taylor was struck by bullets five times but received no medical attention from emergency personnel as officers scrambled to assist their co-worker. While an ambulance had been on standby, it was instructed to leave an hour before the raid occurred, which is against standard protocol. For their negligence and excessive use of force in someone else’s home, a charge of wanton murder for all three officers would have been more appropriate.

According to Attorney General Daniel Cameron, it is impossible to conclude whose bullet struck Taylor; the problem, however, rests not with the uncertainty, but with the lack of action. Regardless of whose bullet killed Taylor, all three officers were involved in her death, a known fact that should alone warrant repercussions. Instead, more than likely, the officer who actually shot and killed Taylor now walks free with no charges at all.

Hankison, who blindly fired ten rounds into Taylor’s apartment, faces indictment not for her death but instead for firing without a clear line of vision and upon closer inspection, his indictment has little to do with Breonna Taylor at all. The shots that Hankison fired went through Taylor’s glass door, a bedroom window, and a neighboring apartment that housed three white residents, including a child and a pregnant woman.

The three charges against the officer were for the neighbors in that apartment, all of whom were unharmed. If convicted, Hankison will only face up to five years in prison for each count.

“Three counts for the shots into the apartment of white neighbors, but no counts for the shots into the apartment of the black neighbors upstairs above Breonna’s,” Sam Aguiar, the Taylor family attorney, said.

As a young Black woman, what continues to happen to Breonna Taylor terrifies me. For us, there seems to be no peace and even through death, we are not laid to rest. I fear being the victim of racial injustice and police brutality. I hug my sister and brother and father tighter in fear that one day I won’t be able to and often wonder if, as I drive to work, I will come back home.

I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I’m drained. I’m angry.

For the past six months, we’ve watched as America has shaped yet another driven Black woman with a life, passion, and goals into martyrdom. We’ve watched as the other side flipped the narrative in a futile attempt to paint Taylor as the “bad guy,” or made it seem as though the racial injustice was deserved.

We’ve watched as people made a mockery of Taylor’s name through TikTok dances, Instagram captions, challenges, etc. We’ve watched as Hankison, Cosgrove, and Mattingly turned her death into nothing more than a paid vacation, with one even flaunting images of himself at the beach.

We live in a society where, like Taylor, I could be shot dead in my sleep and in the wake of my death, some will argue without knowing anything about me that it was probably deserved. This is because to them, my body is a text that reads “Aggressive. Criminal. Thug. You have license to shoot.” I don’t need to end up as a mural on the side of a building, my name yelled out in anguish, while people mourn for the woman that I could’ve grown up to be, if I had just been given a chance. If the officer didn’t pull the trigger. If I hadn’t resisted…

I don’t want my life and death to be reduced to money for the troubles that my family went through as a result of my death. I don’t want my name to be chanted in protests across the world. I just want to be alive.

Hankison, Cosgrove, Mattingly all should have been charged with murder and only then will we really believe that all lives, our lives, matter.

Justice starts with arresting the officers who killed Taylor and continuing to implement legislation and methods of accountability that will protect other women like me from the same treatment.

Fifty-eight years ago, Malcolm X said that the most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. What has changed?


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