“Coming out” as gay through Facebook is an institution of the early Internet: the long and sappy posts about a lifetime of hiding punctuated by a declaration that there will be no more of that hiding. “I’m gay, and I’m proud!” we used to write.
But now, Gen-Z women have found a more light-hearted way of announcing their queerness. In recent years, lesbian Tik Tok has been bombarded with coming out videos to the tune of Jason Derulo’s “Get Ugly.”
The videos almost always involve two people: a closeted teenager and the person they are coming out to. When Derulo gets to the words “this girl straight and this girl not”, the closeted teen points to themselves at the “not”. Although you can’t hear the reactions over the music, you witness the initial moment of shock followed by a congratulatory hug or bewildered stare before the video cuts off.
Other songs that the women of Tik Tok have used to come have include the Beastie Boys’ “Girls”
As someone who struggled for years to come out, I am fascinated by the innovative ways in which people are making their sexualities known. They’ve turned an event typically filled with anxiety, uncertainty and fear into a moment of joy and surprise. In some ways, it shifts all the agency to the person coming out— whether or not the other participant in the tik tok is ok with their gayness, the queer person has agency over the mood. It’s no big deal, they seem to say. And if you make it a big deal, you’ll look like a damn fool in this video